wow. my all-encompassing meltdown is just getting worse

[Altruist]

obviously, i m not talking about my insults to insects on this forum, i ve always been abrasive to retards online - my behavior in real life is unprecedented and every conversation is a potential ugly verbal confrontation

if there was anything except air in my skull, i'd do the fucking obvious - 1. stopping pouring gallons of (white) wine into myself every day, 2. taking a couple of weeks off from the external world and people in general, excluding taking walks (not a jab) and jogging a little

of course that's not happening, at least not starting from today, because i went shopping (necessary stuff) and, as you can guess, came back with 2 l of 12% alcohol piss in my bag too

[kathisterima]

Jay Eff El at the unfaltering supernova detonating, reality bending meltdown we are witnessing from you

[kathisterima]

My advice: fill your time with something that doesn't allow you to drink at the same time.

[Altruist]

Jay Eff El at the unfaltering supernova detonating, reality bending meltdown we are witnessing from you

as i said, i ve always been an abrasive poster, specially when not a single normal user is around. the thing is it never had anything to do with my real life behavior, where i was perfectly chill and unphased and even cringed at neurotards

insane alcohol consumption over the course of the last 2-3 years obviously came to collect. the change is the most obvious in those internal monologues/"dialogues" where you are hypothetically arguing with someone, because my brain is just forcing me there subconsciously all the fucking time

[n9wiff]

Send a video of you pouring all that alcohol down the drain

[Altruist]

My advice: fill your time with something that doesn't allow you to drink at the same time.

don't see how to do this in practice.

i thought about "opening up" to people around me and let the "secret" (the fact that i picked up on alcohol is probably way more obvious to those around me than i think) out, but i'm afraid i'd regret it soon after. ironically exactly that is probably the fear that drives most alcoholics/addicts over the point of no return

by opening up, i don't mean having a faggy emotional breakdown, but just openly stating i've been drinking to the extent that i have. including my doc and the psychiatrist, so that they can put it in my file and press me

[kathisterima]

Send a video of you pouring all that alcohol down the drain

made me remember that video of josh walking while pouring the contents of his bladder down the floor of his moldy insect ridden basement

[n9wiff]

made me remember that video of josh walking while pouring the contents of his bladder down the floor of his moldy insect ridden basement

Sounds nasty but I want to see it now

[kathisterima]

don't see how to do this in practice.

i thought about "opening up" to people around me and let the "secret" (the fact that i picked up on alcohol is probably way more obvious to those around me than i think) out, but i'm afraid i'd regret it soon after. probably the fear that drives most alcoholics/addicts over the point of no return

by opening up, i don't mean having a faggy emotional breakdown, but just openly stating i've been drinking to the extent that i have. including my doc and the psychiatrist, so that they can put it in my file and press me

that might be a good idea

but you might be subconsciously rejecting that because in theory quiting alcohol is extremely simple

[Altruist]

that might be a good idea

but you might be subconsciously rejecting that because in theory quiting alcohol is extremely simple

yeah

i think i fucked myself over with that period of insane rotting near the end of my studies (right around the time when i absolutely randomly stumbled upon lookism via the my law school uni forum - random 9gag thread - random reddit link in 9gag comments - random weirdo crying about his skull in some forever alone tier subreddit and linking lookism route). alcohol wasn't in play then, because i i could stuff myself with enough junk dopamine through the internet, television and ambien and klonopin/xanax. 

after a couple of years, i realised i get angsty if i'm not consuming (whatever) 24/7. 

then, when my tolerance to pills built up and the internet (forums) become less novel, i reached for alcohol. it's still insane to me that it's so cheap and easily accessible; it should be treated just as cocaine and heroin, if not harsher

[Altruist]

Send a video of you pouring all that alcohol down the drain

there's no way i'm wasting 4,89 EUR just like that

[n9wiff]

there's no way i'm wasting 4,89 EUR just like that

"A revolution is not a dinner party"

Please just pour it down the drain

[Altruist]

"A revolution is not a dinner party"

[n9wiff]

Never showing an ounce of compassion to this fat fuck again

[Altruist]

only*