went 3 days without water because i have such a strong aversion to being seen

[handicapable]

ended up drinking from the poisoned well last night because my mouth was extremely dry and my piss was brown, now im back in my moldy tent

i shouldn't have to live like this, but there's nothing i can do

it's a catch22, tbh. i need a place to get well and realize my potential, but to get well i need a place to live. being scared of my own shadow makes this 10000x harder, and the more i degenerate, the more scared i become

now my liver is throbbing, i hate being alive

[lermin]

[Machink]

If you suddenly vanish we will assume your hydrophobia was a presentation of rabies lol. 

Why are you drinking from a well that you claim isn’t sanitary? Do you not have access to clean drinking water without human interaction? If being seen is the issue due to some cosmetic problem or bdd, you could just wear a mask when going out(they are more socially acceptable post covid)

[Major Faggot]

If you suddenly vanish we will assume your hydrophobia was a presentation of rabies lol. 

Why are you drinking from a well that you claim isn’t sanitary? Do you not have access to clean drinking water without human interaction? If being seen is the issue due to some cosmetic problem or bdd, you could just wear a mask when going out(they are more socially acceptable post covid)

the main issue is hppd. 24/7 intrusive thoughts and being hyper-aware of what a loser i am. its a bigger problem than the lung/back/liver/brain damage *all self imposed because life would be too easy otherwise*

[Machink]

If you suddenly vanish we will assume your hydrophobia was a presentation of rabies lol. 

Why are you drinking from a well that you claim isn’t sanitary? Do you not have access to clean drinking water without human interaction? If being seen is the issue due to some cosmetic problem or bdd, you could just wear a mask when going out(they are more socially acceptable post covid)

the main issue is hppd. 24/7 intrusive thoughts and being hyper-aware of what a loser i am. its a bigger problem than the lung/back/liver/brain damage *all self imposed because life would be too easy otherwise*

Self imposed? Are you doing anything related to any of those things? Did you get diagnostics? With lung and liver damage it is rather easy since those would appear on imaging(fibrosis, cirrhosis, emphysema, cancer etc). About the only thing that wouldn’t appear on imaging modalities for those organ systems is chronic bronchitis but afaik it can be managed by simply avoiding whatever stressors induced it in the first place(it revolves around a loss of cilia which can regenerate)

[Major Faggot]

If you suddenly vanish we will assume your hydrophobia was a presentation of rabies lol. 

Why are you drinking from a well that you claim isn’t sanitary? Do you not have access to clean drinking water without human interaction? If being seen is the issue due to some cosmetic problem or bdd, you could just wear a mask when going out(they are more socially acceptable post covid)

the main issue is hppd. 24/7 intrusive thoughts and being hyper-aware of what a loser i am. its a bigger problem than the lung/back/liver/brain damage *all self imposed because life would be too easy otherwise*

Self imposed? Are you doing anything related to any of those things? Did you get diagnostics? With lung and liver damage it is rather easy since those would appear on imaging(fibrosis, cirrhosis, emphysema, cancer etc). About the only thing that wouldn’t appear on imaging modalities for those organ systems is chronic bronchitis but afaik it can be managed by simply avoiding whatever stressors induced it in the first place(it revolves around a loss of cilia which can regenerate)

its fatty liver and chronic bronchitis

solution is stop drinking and live in a place that's not a moldy shithole. sounds easy enough but i cant do it. so this is it

[Altruist]

It seems i mog you

[Major Faggot]

It seems i mog you

this was the straw that broke the camels back

[Machink]

If you suddenly vanish we will assume your hydrophobia was a presentation of rabies lol. 

Why are you drinking from a well that you claim isn’t sanitary? Do you not have access to clean drinking water without human interaction? If being seen is the issue due to some cosmetic problem or bdd, you could just wear a mask when going out(they are more socially acceptable post covid)

the main issue is hppd. 24/7 intrusive thoughts and being hyper-aware of what a loser i am. its a bigger problem than the lung/back/liver/brain damage *all self imposed because life would be too easy otherwise*

Self imposed? Are you doing anything related to any of those things? Did you get diagnostics? With lung and liver damage it is rather easy since those would appear on imaging(fibrosis, cirrhosis, emphysema, cancer etc). About the only thing that wouldn’t appear on imaging modalities for those organ systems is chronic bronchitis but afaik it can be managed by simply avoiding whatever stressors induced it in the first place(it revolves around a loss of cilia which can regenerate)

its fatty liver and chronic bronchitis

solution is stop drinking and live in a place that's not a moldy shithole. sounds easy enough but i cant do it. so this is it

I assume you had ultrasound for the fatty deposits. Yes, certainly stop drinking. Fatty liver is reversible but once you cross the threshold into scar tissue, that stays. At the very least get routine liver enzyme blood tests and take some milk thistle though the evidence it negates any insult to the liver is dubious. I’d also recommend supplementing with thiamine if you are a routinely heavy drinker or have alcoholism, as a prophylactic for wernickes encephalopathy. 



I also would recommended getting a spirometry test for the breathing. I assume you have both a steroid inhaler and one that dilates the bronchi. Both of these conditions can be improved upon or even resolved, and neither is life threatening nor should cause symptoms that interfere too much with your life(assuming the bronchitis is mild ofc, and I suppose it is possible to get some cramps from the liver and bloating, or I should say fluid collection, but unusual for mild fatty liver deposits. Idk if the total volume of your liver is abnormal but they would tell you on an ultrasound) 



Mold isn’t known to cause any real health issues beyond aggravating pre existing asthma or allergies despite what naturopaths or holistic provider may tell you. That being said I still don’t understand living in a mold ridden environment. Idk your financial
Situation but look into getting rid of the mold, get some bleach, maybe invest in dehumidifiers if you live in a tropical climate zone

[Major Faggot]

the main issue is hppd. 24/7 intrusive thoughts and being hyper-aware of what a loser i am. its a bigger problem than the lung/back/liver/brain damage *all self imposed because life would be too easy otherwise*

Self imposed? Are you doing anything related to any of those things? Did you get diagnostics? With lung and liver damage it is rather easy since those would appear on imaging(fibrosis, cirrhosis, emphysema, cancer etc). About the only thing that wouldn’t appear on imaging modalities for those organ systems is chronic bronchitis but afaik it can be managed by simply avoiding whatever stressors induced it in the first place(it revolves around a loss of cilia which can regenerate)

its fatty liver and chronic bronchitis

solution is stop drinking and live in a place that's not a moldy shithole. sounds easy enough but i cant do it. so this is it

I assume you had ultrasound for the fatty deposits. Yes, certainly stop drinking. Fatty liver is reversible but once you cross the threshold into scar tissue, that stays. At the very least get routine liver enzyme blood tests and take some milk thistle though the evidence it negates any insult to the liver is dubious. I’d also recommend supplementing with thiamine if you are a routinely heavy drinker or have alcoholism, as a prophylactic for wernickes encephalopathy. 



I also would recommended getting a spirometry test for the breathing. I assume you have both a steroid inhaler and one that dilates the bronchi. Both of these conditions can be improved upon or even resolved, and neither is life threatening nor should cause symptoms that interfere too much with your life(assuming the bronchitis is mild ofc, and I suppose it is possible to get some cramps from the liver and bloating, or I should say fluid collection, but unusual for mild fatty liver deposits. Idk if the total volume of your liver is abnormal but they would tell you on an ultrasound) 



Mold isn’t known to cause any real health issues beyond aggravating pre existing asthma or allergies despite what naturopaths or holistic provider may tell you. That being said I still don’t understand living in a mold ridden environment. Idk your financial
Situation but look into getting rid of the mold, get some bleach, maybe invest in dehumidifiers if you live in a tropical climate zone

have had ct scans and lung function testing, my vo2 max is like 30, lol. never had an ultra sound for my liver, just blood tests that show elevated enzymes + a dull throbbing pain

i know what i have to do and everything, but i cant even get off my arse because i feel like an end stage aids patient

[i wanna be a bimbo doll]

how can you afford medical testing if you live in a tent

[Major Faggot]

how can you afford medical testing if you live in a tent

this was years ago, and we have free healthcare in nz