[Rage] The nights are getting worse

[10khitman]

The attacks of melancholy are beginning to become impossible to endure. The muscle in my body tenses as though I'm having a seizure from the sheer power of my memories; it reminds me of the effects of Strychnine posioning I learned. Its getting really really bad. Like I am on the edge. The memories from years ago are literally getting MORE powerful.

I think I have a strange neurochemical imbalance which makes my memory extremely powerful, I recall my piano professor told me I have the best memory he has ever seen; but its ultimately a curse, I am not human anymore, I'm just a record player replaying the memories from my good life over and over for years and years and its about to destroy me. 

I think I'm actually becoming a really dangerous person.

lately ive started practicing consciously relaxing my muscles and slowing my breathing. its actually working for my mental and physical wellbeing. its so simple I cant believe I didnt think of it earlier

will try