i feel like i betrayed myself

[prince of shitskins]

sure, life can always get worse in an instant, but i'm talking about wasted life, not just time

having your life hijacked by modern tech feels so alienating and surreal

just taking a walk on a warm spring day is a religious experience compared to fucking opening alerts on internet fucking forums, or watching a shit yt video for the 50th time. i havent been feeling alive for years now, and the tragedy is that i have completely opposite experiences from my earlier years, which makes me realize how tragic my current situation is

there were days when i didn't need 800 mg of jewpills, 2.5 l of alcoholic beverages, youtube, age of empires, tranny porn, thepiratebay, 3 forums, 7 sandwiches and 8 hours free for rotting COMBINED just to feel ANYTHING

Its literally chasing the dragon

Some of my fondest memories are just getting high and playing black ops 3 on Xbox. When I was like 20/21. If I did that now I wouldn't feel shit, but I'm still doing it while trying to convince myself I'm having fun 

Only solution Is to detox from all internet bs and drugs/alcohol/junk food. How to go about achieving that/what to replace it with is the challenge, but you know, and knowing is half the battle