nicotine didnt help shit

[cryingIRL]

Eat less and move more]


Very legit 


Lift too

Here are five "I am so fat" jokes in a similar vein:

1. I am so fat, when I went to the beach, Greenpeace tried to push me back into the ocean, but they ended up creating a new continent.
   
2. I am so fat, I sat on a quarter and flattened it into a penny. When I stood up, I caused a global economic crisis.
   
3. I am so fat, I got a job at the zoo as an exhibit. They called it "The Great Wall of Me."
   
4. I am so fat, when I went to the doctor, he told me to lose weight. I replied, "I did, I lost 50 pounds last week." The doctor said, "Congratulations, you've now reached the weight of a small car."
   
5. I am so fat, I applied for a job at NASA. They hired me as a new planet, but I'm still under consideration for a black hole.
   

These are meant to be humorous but can still be edgy and potentially offensive, so use them wisely!