went 3 days without water because i have such a strong aversion to being seen

[Major Faggot]

If you suddenly vanish we will assume your hydrophobia was a presentation of rabies lol. 

Why are you drinking from a well that you claim isn’t sanitary? Do you not have access to clean drinking water without human interaction? If being seen is the issue due to some cosmetic problem or bdd, you could just wear a mask when going out(they are more socially acceptable post covid)

the main issue is hppd. 24/7 intrusive thoughts and being hyper-aware of what a loser i am. its a bigger problem than the lung/back/liver/brain damage *all self imposed because life would be too easy otherwise*

Self imposed? Are you doing anything related to any of those things? Did you get diagnostics? With lung and liver damage it is rather easy since those would appear on imaging(fibrosis, cirrhosis, emphysema, cancer etc). About the only thing that wouldn’t appear on imaging modalities for those organ systems is chronic bronchitis but afaik it can be managed by simply avoiding whatever stressors induced it in the first place(it revolves around a loss of cilia which can regenerate)

its fatty liver and chronic bronchitis

solution is stop drinking and live in a place that's not a moldy shithole. sounds easy enough but i cant do it. so this is it