I was gonna get laid

[shitshine]

But it was with a 45 year old woman. I turned her down. Did I miss out?

[shitshine]

I've only been with a 52 year old married woman and a 43 year old single woman before

[ESQNav]

Why do u think u turned her down

[shitshine]

Well last time I was with a woman that age (it happened before with 2 women), they had really ghastly skin. So I felt like I was closer to death. Sad

[shitshine]

These days I don't want to go above 30, sincerely because I am afraid of death, and being with sub-30 women makes me feel like my deteriorating health isn't being pulled away from me

[shitshine]

I have a bit of a problem where I hate myself so much, and I have this madonna whore complex, I intentionally only fuck women I don't respect, and don't really want. I wonder if it's cause I disgust myself by the amount of sex I've had, and I want to spare anyone I actually like my filth and ruination

[NuclearBrain]

no bro you aint missing shit from that old cunt

[shitshine]

I don't think so either @NuclearBrain. Agreed.

I'm physically incapable of pursuing anyone who's even close to my looksmatch—so long as I want merely sex from them. But if I want more I can pursue. I wish I could just turn off that thing in me that wants a relationship, and pursue sex with women who are decent or even hot, but not my ideal partner. It's not even fear of rejection at this point, it's mostly a sense of feeling I myself am polluted

[Blau]

It's not your fault for not liking her