15-04-2023, 03:23 AM
To be honest I should have never showed up to the night club that second time, because I think I revealed my true cards after she got to know me better. Lack of experience, lack of knowledge, lack of familiarity with... just being a man LMAO. And how am I going to fool someone who is 9 years older than me lmao
It was enough for that Ukrainian/Native woman to have said "I prefer your friend, he is more my type" (referring to me, when my friend tried to get her number), and for me to have seen her in the bathroom later that night, we look at each other in the mirror and she does this cute Minnie Mouse pose with her palms pressed together submissively like "come approach me" (I get the number to see if she actually meant what she said).
Not even kidding, the pose was like this:
![[Image: depositphotos_54122087-stock-photo-minnie-mouse.jpg]](https://st2.depositphotos.com/2557325/5412/i/950/depositphotos_54122087-stock-photo-minnie-mouse.jpg)
That moment and that look she gave me will forever live in my head rent-free. Like it's the culmination of everything I ever thought I wanted. A legit Stacy mom (okay maybe not the mom part, but still, she looks insanely good for her age) with top 0.0001 percentile tits and top 0.0000000001 ass wanting me... over every other guy at the club? And it's not even to fuck her, it's just the validation of knowing she sees me as superior to everyone else there lmao
I should have taken that moment and RAN FOR THE HILLS... that was ALL I NEEDED.
But... fastforward weeks later, we meet at the same night club and this only after my friend arranged for us all to be there
In the meantime, I have him telling me "bro, do you not see, she obviously likes you, why haven't you texted her all these weeks, she must be like "what the fuck?""
And then I remember the Tunisian dealer telling me she overheard her tell her friends how hot I was (the first night we met), and he's telling me how easy it would be to fuck her, etc.
So I'm obviously not doing what any other guy would have done.
Anyway, a combination of being high on 7 drugs simultaneously and etc and I basically miss my chance to grind on her or whatever it was that I was supposed to do on the dancefloor. Like she's obviously gesturing for me to get closer to her (which I do, but still no contact with her), this is only the third time I've been to a club and I have no idea what grinding is or if you're even supposed to do that at a place where they play EDM.
Following that night I decided to text her for the first time and we exchange very long messages (the walls of text were mostly on her end btw), etc.
I had to explain to her that the combo of all the drugs I took that night made me so out of it and etc, but still wanted to be sure I wasn't coming across as someone who is just giving excuses, etc. She says she's taking a break from clubbing for a bit but that next time I should go to her place and take molly beforehand.
The thing that gets me the most is this...
Cue back that Minnie Mouse in the bathroom moment. Like, that moment when she looked at me. And the thoughts that must have gone through her head, "oh this guy must be this, and that..." The potential to show her that I might in fact be one of those things. A bad boy gangster? (I found out later she gets the drugs she sells from the Italian mafi-yeah so she must like bad boys). A dominant type? (I look quite masc so people assume I'm alpha despite the fact that I have bitch wrists which are hidden in autumn and winter, and my personality is far from dominant). A daddy type? Probably what she wants because she said she's not trying to be anyone's mom and she's tired of attracting guys with mommy issues. And then the actually real potential that she gets to know me and sees that I'm none of those things. Just an aimless wanderer with zero ambitions, zero aspirations, zero convictions and lack of a sense of self.
Despite it seeming like it's not over, it is over. The fact that I care about any of this (at this age) is all the proof you need that it was never meant to be.
It was enough for that Ukrainian/Native woman to have said "I prefer your friend, he is more my type" (referring to me, when my friend tried to get her number), and for me to have seen her in the bathroom later that night, we look at each other in the mirror and she does this cute Minnie Mouse pose with her palms pressed together submissively like "come approach me" (I get the number to see if she actually meant what she said).
Not even kidding, the pose was like this:
That moment and that look she gave me will forever live in my head rent-free. Like it's the culmination of everything I ever thought I wanted. A legit Stacy mom (okay maybe not the mom part, but still, she looks insanely good for her age) with top 0.0001 percentile tits and top 0.0000000001 ass wanting me... over every other guy at the club? And it's not even to fuck her, it's just the validation of knowing she sees me as superior to everyone else there lmao
I should have taken that moment and RAN FOR THE HILLS... that was ALL I NEEDED.
But... fastforward weeks later, we meet at the same night club and this only after my friend arranged for us all to be there
In the meantime, I have him telling me "bro, do you not see, she obviously likes you, why haven't you texted her all these weeks, she must be like "what the fuck?""
And then I remember the Tunisian dealer telling me she overheard her tell her friends how hot I was (the first night we met), and he's telling me how easy it would be to fuck her, etc.
So I'm obviously not doing what any other guy would have done.
Anyway, a combination of being high on 7 drugs simultaneously and etc and I basically miss my chance to grind on her or whatever it was that I was supposed to do on the dancefloor. Like she's obviously gesturing for me to get closer to her (which I do, but still no contact with her), this is only the third time I've been to a club and I have no idea what grinding is or if you're even supposed to do that at a place where they play EDM.
Following that night I decided to text her for the first time and we exchange very long messages (the walls of text were mostly on her end btw), etc.
I had to explain to her that the combo of all the drugs I took that night made me so out of it and etc, but still wanted to be sure I wasn't coming across as someone who is just giving excuses, etc. She says she's taking a break from clubbing for a bit but that next time I should go to her place and take molly beforehand.
The thing that gets me the most is this...
Cue back that Minnie Mouse in the bathroom moment. Like, that moment when she looked at me. And the thoughts that must have gone through her head, "oh this guy must be this, and that..." The potential to show her that I might in fact be one of those things. A bad boy gangster? (I found out later she gets the drugs she sells from the Italian mafi-yeah so she must like bad boys). A dominant type? (I look quite masc so people assume I'm alpha despite the fact that I have bitch wrists which are hidden in autumn and winter, and my personality is far from dominant). A daddy type? Probably what she wants because she said she's not trying to be anyone's mom and she's tired of attracting guys with mommy issues. And then the actually real potential that she gets to know me and sees that I'm none of those things. Just an aimless wanderer with zero ambitions, zero aspirations, zero convictions and lack of a sense of self.
Despite it seeming like it's not over, it is over. The fact that I care about any of this (at this age) is all the proof you need that it was never meant to be.
![[Image: giphy.gif]](https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExZXg3bGN4cmxwd3ZzN3loaXNob2RsMDNpYnp3eHh6dDV0bHUyYXJtbiZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/a6XXKxhe3InTAVR1oN/giphy.gif)
