yup. that's it. my body clearly saying: "stop it, retard".

[Altruist]

vomited 4 times in the last 7-8 days

my face has been green since the first time and still hasn't recovered. capillaries in my eyes and undereye area utterly destroyed, so i look like i'm on heroin and like i just got out of a fight at the same time. face bloated more than ever.

dropped all those shit pills that got me to the point where i need artificial stimulation 24/7 2 weeks ago, now only alcohol is left. i'll finish the bottle i have to symbolically end this surreal period, and that's it.

kiwis and cardio era starting from tomorrow.

[n9wiff]

Wishing you all the best, it'll be worth it

[Altruist]

Wishing you all the best, it'll be worth it

tnx. not that i m particularly emotionally disturbed by this, just trying to explain how obvious the s my body is sending me are

[Altruist]

fucking kikes

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK28090/



but the joke is on me for being a weak-willed (no pun intended) cuck in the first place

[n9wiff]

tnx. not that i m particularly emotionally disturbed by this, just trying to explain how obvious the s my body is sending me are

The pills my psychiatrist gave me made me bloated and fat for like the first time in a while 


It felt utterly horrible for me and I only gained like 5kg or so

That experience really set me into perspective, I've stopped sharing drinks with my family + stopped eating a lot of junk 

I don't know how you put up with so much weight honestly.

[Altruist]

The pills my psychiatrist gave me made me bloated and fat for like the first time in a while 


It felt utterly horrible for me and I only gained like 5kg or so

That experience really set me into perspective, I've stopped sharing drinks with my family + stopped eating a lot of junk 

I don't know how you put up with so much weight honestly.

most ssris will bloat you. noticed the same thing (gaining 5-8 kg while eating the same and being as active as before), so i stopped them 3 or so years ago.

then i switched to snris because why not, while abusing hypnotics and benzos, which act just like alcohol. then i "randomly" started drinking when my tolerance to those became too high, which also led to overeating, hence the insane weight gain. then i found out the snris i ve been taking can fuck your liver up even if you are fit and not drinking. in my case, this means it's a miracle i'm still alive.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3182394/

tldr:

[Xodac]

i'll finish the bottle i have to symbolically end this surreal period, and that's it.

In other words you're not going to quit

Just throw the bottle away now, bro

[Busty Doll]

At this point I'm not even sure it's physically possible to quit without tapering.

[Altruist]

At this point I'm not even sure it's physically possible to quit without tapering.

i think it is, tbh. at least with alcoholism that lasts less than 5 years, and when you haven't been drinking at all before

still trying to remember what made me go and buy that bottle of wine in the middle of the week, but i cant. i was still a student back then and haven't been going through any kind of crisis at the time, except i hated myself for wasting a month's worth of ambien and klonopin in 3 days every time i'd get my prescription renewed

[prince of shitskins]

i need a video game to replace this garbage with

thinking about getting back into osrs

video game i can get addicted to and a full time job is the only way i know i can quit. if you're not occupied with something/bored for even more than 5 minutes, you will go back to the bottle

[kathisterima]

i need a video game to replace this garbage with

thinking about getting back into osrs

video game i can get addicted to and a full time job is the only way i know i can quit. if you're not occupied with something/bored for even more than 5 minutes, you will go back to the bottle

try noita

[Altruist]

i need a video game to replace this garbage with

thinking about getting back into osrs

video game i can get addicted to and a full time job is the only way i know i can quit. if you're not occupied with something/bored for even more than 5 minutes, you will go back to the bottle

i wouldnt feel much better if i just replaced rotting with a bottle with gaming. same pointless shit, just less harsh on your liver

just have to stop being a consoomer and revert to the normal state where i get dopamine from being outside and engaging in normal activities, instead of literally stuffing myself with alcohol, food, forums, internet in general, tv shows and movies, pills and charlie puth's music for 6-8 hours almost daily

[Honest]

I passed out in a pool of my vomit this morning

[Altruist]

I passed out in a pool of my vomit this morning

over

[Altruist]

the irony is, i wouldnt need a gallon of alcohol and a fistful of pills to feel a subtle high if i wasn't so fucking fat, and i got fat precisely because of alcohol and pills