[Story] The story of "Simple," a Macedonian-Australian guy who used to play Ragnarok Online

[AlbanianLegend1994]

In 2009, I played on this private Ragnarok Online server. One of the most prominent players there was this low sentience Macedonian-Australian guy with the very apt moniker "Simple," I remember he had posted his picture on the "post your picture thread!" once and he was kinda chaddy looking, but also looked dumb as fuck. Like dumb puppy kinda Miro look but swarthier and less good-looking.



Anyway, he loved to spend most of his time in the PvP arena. His battle tactic was just like his name, simple. He played the Whitesmith class (the easiest class, by far, to play), and kept spamming this one offensive point-and-click ability with practically 0 cooldown while spamming health potions on another key. Literally just two keys. Well, he had some other hotkeys as well, but those were all just self-buffs.




He was literally braindead.  

He really hated me and my guild, and would gang up on me with his boys when I was alone in the PvP arena, and I didn't have any backup. He was never willing to accept a truce.

I mained the High Priestess class (one of the hardest, if not hardest class to play, literally my entire keyboard was hotkeyed), which couldn't dish out too much damage, but was very resilient. 




I also had an extremely rare MVP card equipped which no one else on the server had (White Lady, or "Bacsojin" card) which increased my healing by 30% at the expense of increasing my mana cost for all spells by 15%. So I could just endure whatever he AND HIS BOYS were throwing at me, like I could be getting 4 v 1'd for 20+ minutes, putting up safety walls and protecting myself, healing, etc. And they were unable to kill me. Anyway just to boast about how rare this card was, it had a 0.01% drop rate on a boss that only spawned once every couple of hours and usually required at least 2 players to kill.




There was this hilarious and unconventional tactic as an Acolyte/Priest(ess)/High Priest(ess) and kinda bannable on many servers where you would put up a warp portal in the direction the person is attacking you from to force them to teleport into another map (it was difficult to execute because it required baiting and perfect timing, the portal had a bit of a delay):




There were some glitched "void maps" you could send the person to, out of which they could never escape, unless they sought admin support. Being the low IQ dog he was, I managed to get him to walk into these portals multiple times, trapping him in other dimensions, and never got banned for it. Also, the response time for tickets back then was absurdly long, so he could be stuck in a map for as much as a few days before hearing back from an admin. He eventually ragequit after I had done this to him enough times.

[kathisterima]

what a tragedy

[AlbanianLegend1994]

what a tragedy

You had to manually re-ignore people each time you logged on the server (outdated mechanic) by typing @ (or / ?) ignore "username" or something like that

But on the rare occasion that he'd kill me in the PvP arena, he would private message me "HAHA FKN NOOB" and then insta-ignore me

@AntonioJuraz

These are the types of games I used to play

Only shooters I've played and can talk about are Gunz Online, and maybe to a small extent Fortnite

Yeah, when it comes to computer games, I mostly played Korean MMORPGs growing up

[Altruist]

Cringe

[AlbanianLegend1994]

Cringe

Go back to crying about how I'm an "asshole" for dismantling your larps with a single picture (that you yourself shared)  

You make it too easy