[Aspie] How do people have more than 2 children?

[10khitman]

define "fully love"

It's about the intimacy of family

with 3 children it feels chaotic, not connected, it feels, like I said, that it becomes a "horde" of children where you just give them resources and at least one of them will succeed. With 2 or 1, you can actually fully focus on both of them and give them all the support they need and make sure they succeed regardless, or at least do your genuine best. 

Connection = everything theory

In Jewish families

Anyways, yea, I do think it makes them less loved. Like substantially. Like I don't know how you can argue it doesn't. It is physically impossible in our linear experience of time as humans to give actual connection and emotional support to twelve different children. You either give some the real affection, or you give them all mediocre affection. With 3 children the effect is not as extreme but it's still a lesser magnitude of the same idea.

Traditionally, yea, it works for success because they would all just be farmers or labourers or something; jobs were basic, it took minimal analysis to determine what you children would be good at. But in this modern society? Where we have such a degree of comfort and wealth (at least in the west), and such specified jobs and places in society? Don't think so. There is no "scientist"; there is a spectrum from nurse to astrophysicist. There is no "tradesman" or "philosopher"; we are too detailed now, too specialized. 

I don't want to be a shepherd of my children, I don't want to be a breeder or an analyzer, I want to be a connected father who has extremely deep memories and experiences with a tight and intimate circle of people whom I share my entire life with.