"you dont exist for me anymore"

[You're dead]

I tried staying with my mom for a week and it was never going to work because of the arbitrary drinking restrictions 

I can admit to myself I'm scum and i care more about alcohol than relationships. A lot of addicts haven't really been tested, tbh. They will judge us while their parents permit them to do whatever they want, but if it came down to it 50% of them would choose drugs and alcohol