why did dreckssau say he likes

[Dreckssau]

It is because of a fucked up psychology.

I first noticed it, when a girl in my class was dating a black man. My first conscious male attraction was to this guy. I don't like to think about it too much. It's very painful.

I've recently thought about the woman and have considered throwing a curse on her, but I'm not well-versed enough in the area of magic. I think the reason I hate that woman so much, is cause I envied her.

Yes, I am a damaged individual. Beyond all hope.