i dont suicide anytime soon, but im okay with death u know why

[Pi33baby]

1. if i die, the eternal torture of the singularity cannot get me (however if im alive i push for singularity even if im rich, because my eyesight is deteriorating and singularity would help me restore my eye vision and additionally all other problems, like looks, small dick, pain and suffering. i mean thats how i can possibly cope. death = no eternal torture, and no i dont believe in hell in the afterlife

2. if i die, there is no more pain and suffering, there is unimagible possible and even likely pain and suffering in this life

I’m not scared of death because people who have NDRs (near death experiences, basically if your heart stops beating) say they feel very peaceful and euphoric when they “die”. 
I also have panic disorder (gay mental issue) and everytime I have a panic attack I think I am dying, so I basically had to be like okay I can’y be scared of dying anymore or my panic attacks will only get worse
And then I fixed all my problems