12-02-2025, 10:13 PM
overreacted (as i only see it now) to basically non-problems and got into very, very ugly fights with close people (family, coworkers, colleagues, friends / some of these overlap)
it's not just that i made a big fuss over pretty much nothing (while being extremely reserved, chill and mild-mannered 99% of the time), but it led to, as i said, very ugly fights that were pretty much initiated by me
the problem is i'm not exactly capable of gradually navigating through an argument when triggered properly, so i say things that make it really really hard to just apologize for a couple of days/weeks/months later.
it's all fun and games when you destroy someone's psyche on a stupid forum or via a trial, with profession as a proxy and an excuse, but when you say really dark shit about the core of someone's existence, it leaves all the participants mentally damaged
obviously i don't just call them stupid or ugly (or bald genetic failures), i say soul-shattering things i can't just pretend to take back and expect to be forgiven (truly)
not sure if these are effects of long-term alcohol consumption starting to show
@prince of shitskins and others here capable of saying something meaningful, thoughts?
been re-winding those situations in my head, and i really don't know how i'd go on with someone who said the things i said to others to me. again, as those were not some life-altering problems for anyone involved, it made me look way more deranged and left me without a proper excuse
it's not just that i made a big fuss over pretty much nothing (while being extremely reserved, chill and mild-mannered 99% of the time), but it led to, as i said, very ugly fights that were pretty much initiated by me
the problem is i'm not exactly capable of gradually navigating through an argument when triggered properly, so i say things that make it really really hard to just apologize for a couple of days/weeks/months later.
it's all fun and games when you destroy someone's psyche on a stupid forum or via a trial, with profession as a proxy and an excuse, but when you say really dark shit about the core of someone's existence, it leaves all the participants mentally damaged
obviously i don't just call them stupid or ugly (or bald genetic failures), i say soul-shattering things i can't just pretend to take back and expect to be forgiven (truly)
not sure if these are effects of long-term alcohol consumption starting to show
@prince of shitskins and others here capable of saying something meaningful, thoughts?
been re-winding those situations in my head, and i really don't know how i'd go on with someone who said the things i said to others to me. again, as those were not some life-altering problems for anyone involved, it made me look way more deranged and left me without a proper excuse
![[Image: Screenshot-2026-06-20-at-23-46-52-Lookis...-Lists.png]](https://i.ibb.co/8nqCLH50/Screenshot-2026-06-20-at-23-46-52-Lookism-Edit-Buddy-and-Ignore-Lists.png)
