went 3 days without water because i have such a strong aversion to being seen

[handicapable]

ended up drinking from the poisoned well last night because my mouth was extremely dry and my piss was brown, now im back in my moldy tent

i shouldn't have to live like this, but there's nothing i can do

it's a catch22, tbh. i need a place to get well and realize my potential, but to get well i need a place to live. being scared of my own shadow makes this 10000x harder, and the more i degenerate, the more scared i become

now my liver is throbbing, i hate being alive