"you dont exist for me anymore"
#31
^ (*kath) as a continuation of my last week's threads, i m informing the forum public that i managed to finish some pretty demanding cases (read: financial crime) while being almost completely drunk and on the verge of blacking out

again i started thinking of a gif i should post to complement this, but then realized how brutally fucking sad the appearance of such thoughts in my subconscious alone is
(18-09-2025, 06:49 PM)MVP Wrote: i already said, rӏ is built different

Quote:[Image: Screenshot-2026-06-20-at-23-46-52-Lookis...-Lists.png]
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#32
(22-06-2026, 12:15 PM)Altruist Wrote: was hoping for your reaction to this thread because you are more sentient than the average psl frequenting vermin. slightly, though

what do you think is the wisest strategy/way of getting my mom to talk to me again? obviously, assuming i somehow, magically, reach the state of mind that enables me to decide not to buy alcohol whenever i think i need it?

well the obvious answer is to show that you are serious about changing

if u start putting effort in it for some time and she sees it, then u can try talking to your mom

obviously it's not realistic that you will cut drinking cold turkey, so find a better way of hiding it because if you screw up again there will be no trust left
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#33
(22-06-2026, 12:20 PM)Altruist Wrote: ^ (*kath) as a continuation of my last week's threads, i m informing the forum public that i managed to finish some pretty demanding cases (read: financial crime) while being almost completely drunk and on the verge of blacking out

again i started thinking of a gif i should post to complement this, but then realized how brutally fucking sad the appearance of such thoughts in my subconscious alone is

Yeah my accountant is trying to pull me into some financial crime and I'm attempting to distance myself but she says "I'm on vacation."
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#34
(22-06-2026, 12:23 PM)hitlersblackedwaifu Wrote: well the obvious answer is to show that you are serious about changing

if u start putting effort in it for some time and she sees it, then u can try talking to your mom

obviously it's not realistic that you will cut drinking cold turkey, so find a better way of hiding it because if you screw up again there will be no trust left

do you think it's possible to soften her if i spend these next 15 days behaving completely differently (not just talking about not drinking, but about acting like a fucking adult and a 1/2 participant of our household)?
(18-09-2025, 06:49 PM)MVP Wrote: i already said, rӏ is built different

Quote:[Image: Screenshot-2026-06-20-at-23-46-52-Lookis...-Lists.png]
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#35
(22-06-2026, 12:23 PM)hitlersblackedwaifu Wrote: well the obvious answer is to show that you are serious about changing

if u start putting effort in it for some time and she sees it, then u can try talking to your mom

obviously it's not realistic that you will cut drinking cold turkey, so find a better way of hiding it because if you screw up again there will be no trust left

the problem is i did this 10+ times by now (and this is my estimate, so, considering how delusional we are about ourselves, it's probably the 50th time to her)
(18-09-2025, 06:49 PM)MVP Wrote: i already said, rӏ is built different

Quote:[Image: Screenshot-2026-06-20-at-23-46-52-Lookis...-Lists.png]
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#36
(22-06-2026, 12:50 PM)Altruist Wrote: do you think it's possible to soften her if i spend these next 15 days behaving completely differently (not just talking about not drinking, but about acting like a fucking adult and a 1/2 participant of our household)?

dude idk how your relationship is, but it's probably unlikely because as you said you've been repeating this behavior for years now

you gotta show some long term commitment to change
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#37
(22-06-2026, 12:54 PM)hitlersblackedwaifu Wrote: dude idk how your relationship is, but it's probably unlikely because as you said you've been repeating this behavior for years now

you gotta show some long term commitment to change

yeah, that's how it is. it's not that i got drunk twice in may so she is now nonsensically freaking out over nothing. it's much worse than that, plus the context (my reply to dolly). that's why i feel this time it's different and i/we won't just go on like nothing happened within a week.
(18-09-2025, 06:49 PM)MVP Wrote: i already said, rӏ is built different

Quote:[Image: Screenshot-2026-06-20-at-23-46-52-Lookis...-Lists.png]
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#38
If you tone things down for a bit then she prob wouldn't kick you out

Most people who know substance-addicts get how substance-addicts are
 "Madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push."
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#39
start taking disulfiram at this point + other addiction meds


you can’t continue like this and rationalize any of it
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#40
Blacked out from vodka and slept through the day. Legit thought this just a nightmare for 10 minutes. I cant believe this is real.
(18-09-2025, 06:49 PM)MVP Wrote: i already said, rӏ is built different

Quote:[Image: Screenshot-2026-06-20-at-23-46-52-Lookis...-Lists.png]
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#41
I was 1 mm away from this on thursday,,managed to avoid the worst, even had a normal weekend regarding talking to my mom, and then i do this on sunday. Holy shit
(18-09-2025, 06:49 PM)MVP Wrote: i already said, rӏ is built different

Quote:[Image: Screenshot-2026-06-20-at-23-46-52-Lookis...-Lists.png]
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#42
The weekend gives me hope that maybe there is a chance i soften her if i behave perfectly these 2 weeks and then beg her to forgive me, just with at least some minor credit this time
(18-09-2025, 06:49 PM)MVP Wrote: i already said, rӏ is built different

Quote:[Image: Screenshot-2026-06-20-at-23-46-52-Lookis...-Lists.png]
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#43
Not that even i believe i can pull  off 2weeks of not being an alc sloth at this point , though.
(18-09-2025, 06:49 PM)MVP Wrote: i already said, rӏ is built different

Quote:[Image: Screenshot-2026-06-20-at-23-46-52-Lookis...-Lists.png]
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#44
yeah u need to do something more radical bc u just crumble + rationalize it

go to the doc he will give u meds

disulfiram will make u puke if u ever try to drink again adn u will develop an aversion to it
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#45
Oh, man.
(18-09-2025, 06:49 PM)MVP Wrote: i already said, rӏ is built different

Quote:[Image: Screenshot-2026-06-20-at-23-46-52-Lookis...-Lists.png]
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