26-09-2025, 04:56 AM
i have some neurological issue im probably retarded tbh. i always managed to get decent grades by cramming the fuck outta the curriculum i did this through highschool and 2 years college . although it works , it always left my cortisol at a seriously fucked baseline . because at any moment il be so far behind that i have to cram more or im out. meaning they kickin me out and i wasted 30000 doillars and 3 years and my life is over. fuck this shit man
during the past maybe 10 years i had this looming stress on me at all times . id rather be homeless tbh !
the only place i didnt have this feeling, was after i graduated high school and was a conscript in the military . they would terroize us at random, waking us up in the middle of the night with air raid sirens and screaming at us to scramble and get our shit together and march 20 miles in the snow. but that was arguably less stressful than my normal day to day life . once those exercises were over, you had ur bros and u were talking about it etc, and u never knew it was coming. it was much better than this endless silent misery which is just omnipresent and slowly tears away at me
during the past maybe 10 years i had this looming stress on me at all times . id rather be homeless tbh !
the only place i didnt have this feeling, was after i graduated high school and was a conscript in the military . they would terroize us at random, waking us up in the middle of the night with air raid sirens and screaming at us to scramble and get our shit together and march 20 miles in the snow. but that was arguably less stressful than my normal day to day life . once those exercises were over, you had ur bros and u were talking about it etc, and u never knew it was coming. it was much better than this endless silent misery which is just omnipresent and slowly tears away at me
![[Image: gE2dTt6.png]](https://i.imgur.com/gE2dTt6.png)
