[Blue Pill] Ultimate guide to being a UK normie

[Honest]

[Middle class edition]

Football
 
Upon becoming conscious, you MUST select a football team to support as soon as possible. Preferably should be a Premier League team. This decision will mark your identity for the remainder of your hollow existence.
 
Example of NT behaviour relating to football:
You are 8 years old and discussing football in school. “We are playing Aston Villa this weekend,” you say. You are only 8, and yet your identity is so wrapped up in football that you already refer to the team as “we” and “us”. You will pay the club thousands of pounds as you purchase consumer goods throughout your life.
 
Cars
 
At a young age, you must understand the importance that cars have in our culture. What importance is that? Making you feel like a man, of course! Just like with football, you MUST begin to learn about cars, irrespective of any genuine interest in them.
 
Example of NT behaviour relating to cars:
You are 16 years old and walking with your friends. Suddenly, you hear the sound of a straight-piped engine. You look to your friends, giggling amongst yourselves (loud cars = funny, cool, and edgy). “Listen to that D turbo,” you remark.
 
Fashion and Music
 
You must “listen to whatever is popular”. You must “wear whatever is popular”. Any originality will make your friends uncomfortable with being around you.
 
Beer
 
Upon reaching 18, you consider yourself “mature”. To solidify your transition into manhood, you must begin to express the opinions of beer/lager that have been picked up from TV soaps and from the opinions of boomers on social media. It is an absolute requirement that you criticise the amount of “head” on a pint, on at least one occasion, making sure that your complaints are heard by all your friends, who will almost certainly agree that it is indeed an “upsetting pint”.
Irrespective of how bad beer initially tastes to you, you will drink it because “that’s what men do”. You will deride anyone who does not drink beer.
 
Example of NT behaviour relating to beer:
You have recently turned 18 years old and are in a restaurant with friends. You order a pint of Guinness with your meal and gleefully take a picture to post to your Snapchat story. However, you find it difficult to drink the pint with the food; the result is that you do not finish the pint, and you sit and anxiously hope that your friends do not notice.
 
Politics
 
You must have the same opinions as those around you (usually slightly to the right of the centre). You can only hold strong political opinions if you are clueless of their implications. You must remain in the Overton window at all times.

Sexuality

You must suppress your true sexual desires. Instead, you must publicly state your preference for models, actresses, singers etc. You may potentially be gay, but this will be buried deep within your unexplored psyche.
You will make out and have sex with girls from uni/clubs. You don't particularly enjoy it, as you long for a deeper connection, but having sex results validates your masculinity, so you continue. There is nothing more terrifying than to remain a virgin.

Example of NT behaviour relating to sexuality:
"Ohhh mannn, Rihanna is soooo hot!" you say, in a group discussion about girls. However, you don't actually think she's hot, you're just going along with what the mainstream suggests.
 
Implications
 
As you age, you will be plagued with an increasingly uncomfortable feeling that you are “empty”, which is the result of years of suppressing your true interests and instincts. This will culminate in a mental breakdown at 35-45. You will probably transition into heavy alcoholism to help you cope with your soul-crushing job and lack of interest in life. You may develop “mid-life crisis hobbies” (motor bikes, sports car etc.), which are just another attempt at validating your masculinity.

[MysteriousWeeb420]

I dont fit a single one yet I am a normie 

Checkmate

[PolishSubhuman]

[Noonz]

is The Streets normie music or too boomer?

[Honest]

I dont fit a single one yet I am a normie 

Checkmate

I was going to add this to the end.

Things normies ABSOLUTELY CANNOT DO:
Become prolific posters on an obscure incel forum.

[Honest]

is The Streets normie music or too boomer?

Is it popular? Was it on a recent Fifa backtrack? If not, then no.

[PolishSubhuman]

is listening to scouse house nt?

[PolishSubhuman]

[Mr Looks]

sounds like anywhere in europe, no?

[sub8yetalive]

make a guide on how to navigate normalfaggotry without partaking in insentience (is it even possible?!)

[AntonioJuraz]

caged hard

[lonelyjak]

[Middle class edition]

Football
 
Upon becoming conscious, you MUST select a football team to support as soon as possible. Preferably should be a Premier League team. This decision will mark your identity for the remainder of your hollow existence.
 
Example of NT behaviour relating to football:
You are 8 years old and discussing football in school. “We are playing Aston Villa this weekend,” you say. You are only 8, and yet your identity is so wrapped up in football that you already refer to the team as “we” and “us”. You will pay the club thousands of pounds as you purchase consumer goods throughout your life.
 
Cars
 
At a young age, you must understand the importance that cars have in our culture. What importance is that? Making you feel like a man, of course! Just like with football, you MUST begin to learn about cars, irrespective of any genuine interest in them.
 
Example of NT behaviour relating to cars:
You are 16 years old and walking with your friends. Suddenly, you hear the sound of a straight-piped engine. You look to your friends, giggling amongst yourselves (loud cars = funny, cool, and edgy). “Listen to that D turbo,” you remark.
 
Fashion and Music
 
You must “listen to whatever is popular”. You must “wear whatever is popular”. Any originality will make your friends uncomfortable with being around you.
 
Beer
 
Upon reaching 18, you consider yourself “mature”. To solidify your transition into manhood, you must begin to express the opinions of beer/lager that have been picked up from TV soaps and from the opinions of boomers on social media. It is an absolute requirement that you criticise the amount of “head” on a pint, on at least one occasion, making sure that your complaints are heard by all your friends, who will almost certainly agree that it is indeed an “upsetting pint”.
Irrespective of how bad beer initially tastes to you, you will drink it because “that’s what men do”. You will deride anyone who does not drink beer.
 
Example of NT behaviour relating to beer:
You have recently turned 18 years old and are in a restaurant with friends. You order a pint of Guinness with your meal and gleefully take a picture to post to your Snapchat story. However, you find it difficult to drink the pint with the food; the result is that you do not finish the pint, and you sit and anxiously hope that your friends do not notice.
 
Politics
 
You must have the same opinions as those around you (usually slightly to the right of the centre). You can only hold strong political opinions if you are clueless of their implications. You must remain in the Overton window at all times.

Sexuality

You must suppress your true sexual desires. Instead, you must publicly state your preference for models, actresses, singers etc. You may potentially be gay, but this will be buried deep within your unexplored psyche.
You will make out and have sex with girls from uni/clubs. You don't particularly enjoy it, as you long for a deeper connection, but having sex results validates your masculinity, so you continue. There is nothing more terrifying than to remain a virgin.

Example of NT behaviour relating to sexuality:
"Ohhh mannn, Rihanna is soooo hot!" you say, in a group discussion about girls. However, you don't actually think she's hot, you're just going along with what the mainstream suggests.
 
Implications
 
As you age, you will be plagued with an increasingly uncomfortable feeling that you are “empty”, which is the result of years of suppressing your true interests and instincts. This will culminate in a mental breakdown at 35-45. You will probably transition into heavy alcoholism to help you cope with your soul-crushing job and lack of interest in life. You may develop “mid-life crisis hobbies” (motor bikes, sports car etc.), which are just another attempt at validating your masculinity.

this sounds exhausting. do normies really?