is this concerning? happened to me 3 times in the last 12 months.

[Altruist]

overreacted (as i only see it now) to basically non-problems and got into very, very ugly fights with close people (family, coworkers, colleagues, friends / some of these overlap)

it's not just that i made a big fuss over pretty much nothing (while being extremely reserved, chill and mild-mannered 99% of the time), but it led to, as i said, very ugly fights that were pretty much initiated by me

the problem is i'm not exactly capable of gradually navigating through an argument when triggered properly, so i say things that make it really really hard to just apologize for a couple of days/weeks/months later. 

it's all fun and games when you destroy someone's psyche on a stupid forum or via a trial, with profession as a proxy and an excuse, but when you say really dark shit about the core of someone's existence, it leaves all the participants mentally damaged

obviously i don't just call them stupid or ugly (or bald genetic failures), i say soul-shattering things i can't just pretend to take back and expect to be forgiven (truly)

not sure if these are effects of long-term alcohol consumption starting to show

@prince of shitskins and others here capable of saying something meaningful, thoughts?

been re-winding those situations in my head, and i really don't know how i'd go on with someone who said the things i said to others to me. again, as those were not some life-altering problems for anyone involved, it made me look way more deranged and left me without a proper excuse

[Altruist]

not sure if it's better to distance from those people so they maybe forget my actions or to double down on my position and make any kind of relationship rebuilding absolutely impossible for years

[Altruist]

jesus. time to chill the fuck down.

[Altruist]

pretty much the reaction i've been getting at moments during those arguments:

[n9wiff]

I've done the same but not as frequent obviously and only limited to a few people.  

I would attribute mine to stress. I really do wish I could take bake some things I've said to my Mom and Dad because they involved religion, body and other personal insults. We don't talk like we used to VS a few months ago. 

One thing that is consistent is that it always starts with something as simple as them offering advice or a an ever so slight attack on the things I do. Then I of course have a fragile ego and escalate things slightly, more words are exchanged and I am unable to restrain myself. 

Do you have a fragile ego? Sometimes I don't know when to just shut up, calm myself down and be the "bigger man". 

You are like nearly twice my age and a drug addict ( sorry to use that phrase  ) so I'm not even sure if my experiences can be remotely applicable to you. 


My personal exp.

[Altruist]

I've done the same but not as frequent obviously and only limited to a few people.  

I would attribute mine to stress. I really do wish I could take bake some things I've said to my Mom and Dad because they involved religion, body and other personal insults. We don't talk like we used to VS a few months ago. 

One thing that is consistent is that it always starts with something as simple as them offering advice or a an ever so slight attack on the things I do. Then I of course have a fragile ego and escalate things slightly, more words are exchanged and I am unable to restrain myself. 

Do you have a fragile ego? Sometimes I don't know when to just shut up, calm myself down and be the "bigger man". 

You are like nearly twice my age and a drug addict ( sorry to use that phrase  ) so I'm not even sure if my experiences can be remotely applicable to you. 


My personal exp.

yeah, my best guess is that there is a lot of stress in my work that i don't consciously recognize, so it accumulates over time without me realizing. and that's when it becomes a matter of time before i explode. 

still, "stress" from legal research isn't something that should convert to me randomly mentally fucking people up to the point where they are not sure if i'm trolling or on heroin. the profession is based on confrontation by nature, so maybe it's that

[kathisterima]

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/types-dementia/alcohol-related-brain-damage-arbd

[prince of shitskins]

I would say you're not in your right mind due to pills/alcohol. As long as this is the case sabotaging some relationships is inevitable 

I wouldn't stress over it since ur technically in the process of quitting

[Altruist]

I would say you're not in your right mind due to pills/alcohol. As long as this is the case sabotaging some relationships is inevitable 

I wouldn't stress over it since ur technically in the process of quitting

legit. specially the second sentence considering i'm stopping drinking tomorrow

[Altruist]

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/types-dementia/alcohol-related-brain-damage-arbd

How much alcohol is too much alcohol?

A unit is a measure of alcohol. You can find out how many units are in an alcoholic drink by reading the label. The NHS recommends not drinking more than 14 units of alcohol each week. This should ideally be spread over three or more days because ‘binge-drinking’ is particularly harmful to the brain.
When a person starts drinking more than around 25 units per week on a regular basis, it may start to affect their ability to think and function properly. 
Drinking a large amount of alcohol in a short space of time (such as a single evening) is known as ‘binge-drinking’. It is equivalent to drinking 8 units or more for men and 6 units or more for women. It has been suggested that older people should have lower limits because they are at greater risk of the damaging effects of alcohol.

and I've been at 30 per week for almost 150 weeks in a row now. just lol. just goes to show i legit have a 1 in 250000 brain considering i ve been sodomizing lawyers of half the institutions in the country simultaneously for months till last week, when i did what might turn out the dumbest mistake of my life

[Pi33baby]

You probably have a brain tumor. I had a brain tumor when I was twelve and got diagnosed after I beat up one of my peers for stealing my pencil. I ruined his face so bad he had to drop out of school and killed himself 2 years ago.

[Altruist]

You probably have a brain tumor. I had a brain tumor when I was twelve and got diagnosed after I beat up one of my peers for stealing my pencil. I ruined his face so bad he had to drop out of school and killed himself 2 years ago.

it would be fucking hilarious if i died before josh in the end

[n9wiff]

I ruined his face so bad he had to drop out of school and killed himself 2 years ago.

[Pi33baby]

it would be fucking hilarious if i died before josh in the end

Who is Josh?

[Altruist]

oh god