You're an incoming sophomore about to major in Gender and Sexuality Studies at the Un

[slop slinger]

You're an incoming sophomore about to major in Gender and Sexuality Studies at the University of Quebec at Trois Rivières. You have to choose one of the following professors to be your advisor, who do you pick? 

1. Minerva van der Menarche: a 6'4", 98 year old battleaxe of a woman who emigrated from the Soviet Union; a former Colonel and sniper in the Red Army who accumulated 568 Nazi headshots at the age of 18before emigrating and transitioning to academia. She is known for booming deep voice and incisive intellect despite her age. She shows no signs of slowing down. She is a prominent neo-Hegelian known for writing a 1,200 page tome arguing that "human trafficking is the highest expression of the human spirit."



2. Riley Phoenixblatt, 47, an enby facial feminization surgeon who accumulated 800+ malpractice cases over the course of her career, owing to her wildly unethical practices. She won every single one and extorted $20,000,000 in countersuits before transitioning to academia. She speaks in tongues and goes into trance during seminars.



3. Sauron von Mothma, a 37yo (who looks 80 for some reason) newcomer who teaches widely attended seminars on how to combat Rampant Misandry. He has a podcast where he talks mainly about dating topics related to 18-21yos. He became something of an idolized father figure among the Maghrebi immigrant community in Canada; murders have been carried out in his name. Here's their pics:

[bluerose]

death.

[n9wiff]

What happened to Prof. Genevieve Blatonslatt?

[slop slinger]

What happened to Prof. Genevieve Blatonslatt?

sent to inuit gulag by trudeau for political kkkrimes against the state

[prince of shitskins]

i would drop out

[prince of shitskins]

good thread

[Sexual chocolate]

Nah is this gender studies or Hogwarts

[slop slinger]

good thread

Place your vote.

[slop slinger]

Nah is this gender studies or Hogwarts

Place your vote.

[prince of shitskins]

3. Sauron von Mothma

[Sexual chocolate]

3) aka coach deadpill

[Sexual chocolate]

Riley Phoenixblatt looks like those creepypasta style videos they make that leads from some innocuous facebook post to underground child trafficking ring

[kathisterima]

dr sailer being the least disturbing person indicates that the slopverse exists as a reversing mirror of our current collective knowledge and experiences

[slop slinger]

The cavernous lecture hall at the infamous Egret Institute of Meta-Philosophical Studies was abuzz with anticipation. Tonight, three of academia's most controversial figures were convening for what had been ominously titled "An Evening of Unorthodox Truths."

Minerva van der Menarche, a towering relic of Soviet steel and stoicism, strode onto the stage first. At 6'4", with shoulders broad enough to intimidate a bear and a voice that could command armies, she carried her infamous 1,200-page opus, Dialectics of Flesh and Freedom, under one arm. Her piercing eyes scanned the room like a hawk. Even at 98, she radiated the vigor of someone half her age, though the room visibly recoiled when she began to explain—yet again—why "human trafficking is the highest expression of the human spirit."

Next came Riley Phoenixblatt, waddling onto the stage in a brisk, erratic gait. Short and stout with round glasses perched precariously on their nose, Riley exuded the chaotic energy of someone who'd done the impossible: survived 800 malpractice lawsuits and emerged not only unscathed but richer. They adjusted the microphone and immediately began speaking in tongues, gesticulating wildly to the audience, who nodded as though this was standard fare.

The final arrival was Sauron von Mothma, a man whose 37 years of life had somehow contorted his appearance into that of a wizened octogenarian. Wearing a three-piece suit that hung loosely on his gaunt frame, Sauron exuded an unsettling charisma. His wrinkled face held a perpetual smirk, and his seminar, "Combatting the Misandry Epidemic: Strategies for the 21st Century Male," had attracted a standing-room-only crowd.

The moderator—a visibly uncomfortable graduate student named Clarissa—shuffled her notes nervously before speaking. "Tonight, we aim to explore the intersections of gender, philosophy, and power through the unique lenses of our esteemed speakers." She glanced sidelong at Minerva, whose booming laugh sent an unfortunate sound technician stumbling into a wall.

---

Minerva's Segment: The Human Spirit, Through a Scope
Minerva began her presentation with a rifle perched on the podium, purely for dramatic effect. Her lecture was a rhapsody of Hegelian dialectics, war stories, and disturbingly poetic metaphors about "the interplay of predator and prey." At one point, she described how a well-executed sniper shot was the ultimate synthesis of intention and outcome. The audience was horrified and riveted in equal measure.

---

Riley's Sermon: Trance and Scalpels
Riley began their segment mid-trance, eyes rolling back into their head as they launched into an avant-garde sermon about "remolding the flesh to align with cosmic vibrations." They described their surgical philosophy in alarming detail, frequently interrupting themselves to scribble hieroglyphic-like diagrams on a whiteboard. The diagrams made no sense, but Riley's conviction was mesmerizing. By the end, they had somehow convinced half the audience to consider facial feminization surgery, regardless of their gender identity.

---

Sauron's Manifesto: Misandry and the Modern Male
Sauron shuffled to the podium and began with his signature podcast opener: "Men of the world, awaken." His raspy voice droned on about the "epidemic of female entitlement," sprinkling in pseudo-academic jargon and odd references to "honor culture" in the Maghreb. The crowd, an odd mix of young men in trucker hats and elderly academics, hung on his every word. When an audience member timidly questioned his take, Sauron leaned in with a menacing grin and replied, "You would not survive in the trenches of Montreal."

---

The Chaos of the Q&A
During the Q&A, the three panelists engaged in a bizarre intellectual battle. Minerva dismissed Sauron's ideas as "bourgeois whining," while Riley accused him of harboring "astral-level daddy issues." Sauron retaliated by suggesting that Minerva’s sniper kills were "a grotesque metaphor for maternal neglect," which caused her to hurl her tome at his head. Riley, meanwhile, fell into a trance, speaking in tongues until the fire alarm inexplicably went off.

---

The evening ended with half the audience cheering, the other half weeping, and one person quietly vomiting in the corner. Clarissa declared it "an unparalleled success," though she immediately resigned the next day.
The Egret Institute never hosted another event quite like it, but for those who attended, it became the stuff of legend.