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+--- Thread: Living with a coomer Dad (/showthread.php?tid=23743)
Living with a coomer Dad - Thailuan Dang - 13-05-2024
I'm the daughter of a porn addict. I've heard a lot of heartbreaking stories to do with coomer partners but not a lot about coomer family. Curious if any other women relate to this pain or if my experiences are particularly bad
I don't know when he started watching but for the majority of my 30 years on earth I've considered my Dad a porn addict. From as early as 8 I had stumbled on his stashes - stacks of DVDs, CDs. If he wasn't at work, he'd spend all his time in his computer room. Through a door left ajar I'd see dancing images of flesh and the hunched back of my father. Bookmarks of adult films left over on the TV.
I was 11 when I found a porno DVD in a cabinet at his workplace. The cover of a blonde woman with her tits out. My eyes felt violated, heavy and dirty. I try telling my Mom about it. After going quiet for a moment, she responded with "looking at people without clothes is normal for him at work. He's a doctor after all." "But the women in the videos were sitting on hotel beds. They weren't like the medical beds at work..." She dismissed me, and we never spoke of it again. From early on I understood: we do NOT talk about the gooning.
But I was proud to be from a doctor's family. My classmates and their parents were his patients, and I felt honoured to be associated with him. Until I was 12, when I receive a hand-me-down flip phone. I take pictures with the camera and jump to the photo album to look. It's not long until I'm faced with a startling image. It's a video. Grainy, but I can make out a pair of woman's legs. They're spread wide, propped up on a medical exam table. The camera proceeds to look around, under the patient's gown, hidden out of sight. There's muffled conversation. I turn off the video feeling stunned, sick, horrified.
Lost and confused, I call my older brother to report what I had seen. He's well-aware of Dad's porn addiction. Like Mom, he's quiet at first until his voice goes stern. "Delete it immediately. If this gets out, it will ruin Dad's life. He'll lose his job and our family will suffer. Delete it and never talk about this again." So I deleted it. And wiping out that shred of evidence against him was the last time I ever saw him as a man, let alone a father. The realisation that your father is a sexual being, one so coom-brained they can commit a crime just to coom, is such an evil thing for a young girl to come to grips with.
My Dad's patients weren't safe at his office. And being his daughter robbed me of a feeling of complete safety at home. I always dressed modestly around him, afraid to become a target of his gaze. I hunched to hide my breasts, and if he ever touched me my body would seize up. As the online age brought more variety and more accessibility, my Dad would spend longer and longer in his computer room. Embarrassing incidents would accumulate over the years. Accidentally unmuted speakers, mis-clicked tabs, autocompleting address bars, etc. Each time was like a glitch in the matrix - something happens, a scramble back to normalcy, then silence. Always silence.
Now my Dad is in his early 70s and is still living out of his goon cave every day. He was always emotionally distant but over the years his spiritual decline has surfaced as a distinct dullness to his affect and expressions. Less words spoken. Less light in the eyes. It's as though he is sleep walking through the day until his next hit of coom. Even though respecting him is so hard, I can't hate him either. There's no way his addiction isn't a sign of a deep lacking and suffering from a marriage and family built on sand. He's drawing close to retirement and I can see him becoming a complete vegetable.
Trauma dump over, if anyone read all this ty. I've never shared it before. I hope you are staying connected with your loved ones
RE: Living with a coomer Dad - Thailuan Dang - 13-05-2024
@dat feel
RE: Living with a coomer Dad - Thailuan Dang - 13-05-2024
My dad was into porn too and spent all his time in the computer room. I found porn all over as well. I had to use his computer to print stuff and almost every file was some porn picture. He was addicted to this game second life and cosplayed as a woman in it. I walked in on him cyber sexing with randos on more than one occasion (that game seems to be for porn addicts because everyone’s character is a big titted bimbo). My mom was gone during the day and my dad worked nights so I had almost zero interaction with him because he’d only leave his room to go to work. I remember one Christmas my mom was working and my sister and I spent the entire day alone because my dad was just fapping away. I also feel weird when he touches me etc me and reading posts by fathers talking about fapping over their daughters on Reddit made me even more fearful and resentful. I guess my mom was really cold and distant but I don’t think having a porn addiction really helps a relationship at all. I waited so long to get into a relationship because I was so sickened by men for the longest time. I’m sorry for your experience
RE: Living with a coomer Dad - Altruist - 13-05-2024
good thread
RE: Living with a coomer Dad - Thailuan Dang - 14-05-2024
Im really sorry to hear this. I only recently discovered the extent of my father's addiction and it almost sent me over the edge. we found out he had been jerking it to pictures of my sister. to what extent we don't know. he admitted this to my mom last year when he was doing his AA "confessions" step or whatever. he also confessed to taking videos of my friends mom's when I was younger (10+ years ago) and jerking it to them. he has always been a self obsessed cocksucker with no substance as a person. I don't know the best way to cope with this but all I can say is get him 100% out of your life by whatever means necessary and feel through it. don't repress anything. my current goal is to make my fathers life as hard as possible. I want to ruin him. make him feel the pain my sister feels x100. it's fucked. porn didn't necessarily cause all this but it definitely didn't help.
RE: Living with a coomer Dad - Asian Male - 22-02-2025
@Pi33baby is your dad a coomer?