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+--- Thread: "you dont exist for me anymore" (/showthread.php?tid=51471)
RE: "you dont exist for me anymore" - Altruist - 22-06-2026
^ (*kath) as a continuation of my last week's threads, i m informing the forum public that i managed to finish some pretty demanding cases (read: financial crime) while being almost completely drunk and on the verge of blacking out
again i started thinking of a gif i should post to complement this, but then realized how brutally fucking sad the appearance of such thoughts in my subconscious alone is
RE: "you dont exist for me anymore" - hitlersblackedwaifu - 22-06-2026
(22-06-2026, 12:15 PM)Altruist Wrote: was hoping for your reaction to this thread because you are more sentient than the average psl frequenting vermin. slightly, though
what do you think is the wisest strategy/way of getting my mom to talk to me again? obviously, assuming i somehow, magically, reach the state of mind that enables me to decide not to buy alcohol whenever i think i need it?
well the obvious answer is to show that you are serious about changing
if u start putting effort in it for some time and she sees it, then u can try talking to your mom
obviously it's not realistic that you will cut drinking cold turkey, so find a better way of hiding it because if you screw up again there will be no trust left
RE: "you dont exist for me anymore" - Busty Doll - 22-06-2026
(22-06-2026, 12:20 PM)Altruist Wrote: ^ (*kath) as a continuation of my last week's threads, i m informing the forum public that i managed to finish some pretty demanding cases (read: financial crime) while being almost completely drunk and on the verge of blacking out
again i started thinking of a gif i should post to complement this, but then realized how brutally fucking sad the appearance of such thoughts in my subconscious alone is
Yeah my accountant is trying to pull me into some financial crime and I'm attempting to distance myself but she says "I'm on vacation."
RE: "you dont exist for me anymore" - Altruist - 22-06-2026
(22-06-2026, 12:23 PM)hitlersblackedwaifu Wrote: well the obvious answer is to show that you are serious about changing
if u start putting effort in it for some time and she sees it, then u can try talking to your mom
obviously it's not realistic that you will cut drinking cold turkey, so find a better way of hiding it because if you screw up again there will be no trust left
do you think it's possible to soften her if i spend these next 15 days behaving completely differently (not just talking about not drinking, but about acting like a fucking adult and a 1/2 participant of our household)?
RE: "you dont exist for me anymore" - Altruist - 22-06-2026
(22-06-2026, 12:23 PM)hitlersblackedwaifu Wrote: well the obvious answer is to show that you are serious about changing
if u start putting effort in it for some time and she sees it, then u can try talking to your mom
obviously it's not realistic that you will cut drinking cold turkey, so find a better way of hiding it because if you screw up again there will be no trust left
the problem is i did this 10+ times by now (and this is my estimate, so, considering how delusional we are about ourselves, it's probably the 50th time to her)
RE: "you dont exist for me anymore" - hitlersblackedwaifu - 22-06-2026
(22-06-2026, 12:50 PM)Altruist Wrote: do you think it's possible to soften her if i spend these next 15 days behaving completely differently (not just talking about not drinking, but about acting like a fucking adult and a 1/2 participant of our household)?
dude idk how your relationship is, but it's probably unlikely because as you said you've been repeating this behavior for years now
you gotta show some long term commitment to change
RE: "you dont exist for me anymore" - Altruist - 22-06-2026
(22-06-2026, 12:54 PM)hitlersblackedwaifu Wrote: dude idk how your relationship is, but it's probably unlikely because as you said you've been repeating this behavior for years now
you gotta show some long term commitment to change
yeah, that's how it is. it's not that i got drunk twice in may so she is now nonsensically freaking out over nothing. it's much worse than that, plus the context (my reply to dolly). that's why i feel this time it's different and i/we won't just go on like nothing happened within a week.
RE: "you dont exist for me anymore" - Iblameher - 22-06-2026
If you tone things down for a bit then she prob wouldn't kick you out
Most people who know substance-addicts get how substance-addicts are
RE: "you dont exist for me anymore" - alice in hell - 22-06-2026
start taking disulfiram at this point + other addiction meds
you can’t continue like this and rationalize any of it
RE: "you dont exist for me anymore" - Altruist - 22-06-2026
Blacked out from vodka and slept through the day. Legit thought this just a nightmare for 10 minutes. I cant believe this is real.
RE: "you dont exist for me anymore" - Altruist - 22-06-2026
I was 1 mm away from this on thursday,,managed to avoid the worst, even had a normal weekend regarding talking to my mom, and then i do this on sunday. Holy shit
RE: "you dont exist for me anymore" - Altruist - 22-06-2026
The weekend gives me hope that maybe there is a chance i soften her if i behave perfectly these 2 weeks and then beg her to forgive me, just with at least some minor credit this time
RE: "you dont exist for me anymore" - Altruist - 22-06-2026
Not that even i believe i can pull off 2weeks of not being an alc sloth at this point , though.
RE: "you dont exist for me anymore" - alice in hell - 22-06-2026
yeah u need to do something more radical bc u just crumble + rationalize it
go to the doc he will give u meds
disulfiram will make u puke if u ever try to drink again adn u will develop an aversion to it
RE: "you dont exist for me anymore" - Altruist - 22-06-2026
Oh, man.